I’m Pippens. Seven pounds. Seven years old. White. Judgmental.
At age two, I nearly died. Jerry spent a night at the emergency vet, not knowing if I’d make it. I survived.
That experience taught me something important: Time is limited. Don’t waste it on things that don’t matter.
So I don’t.
I nap 18 hours per day. Not because I’m lazy—because sleep is efficient. While Jerry wastes time “being productive,” I’m conserving energy for things that actually matter.
Like observing. And judging. And occasionally knocking things off tables to make a point.
What I observe:
- Why do humans keep 47 containers without lids
- Why do you rearrange furniture at 10 PM instead of sleeping
- Why do you make plans you don’t want to keep
- Why decorative pillows exist (they shouldn’t)
- Why you need two screens to watch TV (you don’t)
My philosophy: Humans overcomplicate everything. Most problems have simple solutions. You just refuse to implement them.
My contribution here: Honest observations. Zero sugarcoating. Maximum judgment.
Birds: Not interested. Spicey disagrees. This is an ongoing debate.
SPICEY PUMPKIN: THE OPTIMIST
HI! I’m Spicey! I’m a Great Dane! I’m 125 pounds! I LOVE EVERYTHING!
I was born in a litter of ten puppies. I was the only one who survived. Jerry was there from day one.
Pippens says this should make me sad. But I think it means I’m LUCKY! I’m HERE! I get to experience THINGS!
Like:
- WALKS! (Every day! AMAZING!)
- BIRDS! (So many different kinds! Pippens doesn’t understand!)
- NEW SMELLS! (Every smell is a DISCOVERY!)
- PEOPLE! (Everyone is a potential friend!)
- ADVENTURES! (Even short ones! Like going to the MAILBOX!)
What I observe:
- Why humans don’t celebrate enough
- Why you are sad about things when you could be HAPPY about things
- Why you don’t go for walks MORE
- Why you look at your phone instead of LOOKING AT THE WORLD
- Why you forget to be excited about being ALIVE
My philosophy: Life is SHORT! And also LONG! But mostly WONDERFUL! Why waste time being grumpy when you could be JOYFUL?!
My contribution here: Enthusiasm. Questions. Exclamation points. Reminders to appreciate things.
Birds: VERY IMPORTANT! Different beaks! Different sizes! Different behaviors! Why doesn’t everyone watch birds MORE?!
JERRY: THE TRANSLATOR
I’m Jerry. I live with a cat who judges everything and a dog who celebrates everything.
Between them, they’ve taught me more about life than 23 years of professional experience.
My background:
- 23 years in business liquidations
- 5 years handling estate sales in San Antonio
- 300+ sales completed
- Countless observations about what people keep, what they discard, and what actually matters
What I’ve learned:
From Pippens: Most of what you think matters doesn’t. The Tupperware chaos. The decorative pillows. The weekend productivity trap. The midnight furniture rearranging. All self-imposed complications that don’t improve your life.
From Spicey: Most of what you ignore matters deeply. The walk you’re too busy for. The sunset you scrolled past. The moment of connection you missed because you were checking your phone. The joy is available right now if you’d just notice it.
From estate sales: What people keep reveals what they value. What they discard reveals what they thought they valued.
I’ve sorted through lifetimes of possessions. I’ve found $35,000 paintings in boxes marked “junk.” I’ve watched families fight over things that don’t matter and give away things that do.
My role here: I translate Pippens’ judgment and Spicey’s enthusiasm into human terms. I add context from decades of watching people make decisions about what to keep and what to let go.
WHAT WE WRITE ABOUT
50% Human Behavior
- Why do you do the weird things you do
- Weekend productivity traps
- Two-screen problems
- Plans you don’t want to keep
- Midnight projects
- All the ways you overcomplicate life
25% Travel & Adventure
- Road trips through Texas
- Pet-friendly destinations
- Spicey’s travel reviews
- New experiences (and what they teach us)
15% Estate Sales & Antiques
- What’s valuable (and what’s not)
- Stories from 23 years of liquidations
- How to identify treasure
- What possessions say about us
10% San Antonio Culture
- Local insights
- Spurs season survival
- Fiesta observations
- Pet-friendly SA spots
100% Unfiltered
- No corporate speak
- No fake positivity
- No pretending we have all the answers
- Just honest observations from three very different perspectives
WHY “UNFILTERED”?
Because we don’t have a PR department.
Pippens says what she observes. It’s usually critical. It’s always honest.
Spicey says what she feels. It’s usually enthusiastic. It’s always genuine.
I say what I’ve learned. From pets. From estate sales. From watching humans overcomplicate simple things.
None of us are trying to sell you anything (yet—merch coming in 3-6 months).
We’re just here. Observing. Sharing. Hoping you find something useful. Or funny. Or both.
THE DYNAMIC
PIPPENS: Humans are exhausting. They create problems. They ignore solutions. They waste time on decorative pillows.
SPICEY: Humans are AMAZING! They try SO HARD! Even when they fail! We should celebrate them MORE!
JERRY: They’re both right. Humans are simultaneously inspiring and ridiculous. Capable of great wisdom and profound stupidity. Often in the same afternoon.
That tension—between judgment and celebration, skepticism and enthusiasm, critique and compassion—is what makes this interesting.
Pippens keeps us honest. Spicey keeps us hopeful. I keep them both fed and try to translate for everyone else.
JOIN US
We publish twice a week (Tuesday and Friday).
Each post is:
- 2,000-4,000 words
- Observations from at least two perspectives
- Hopefully funny
- Maybe useful
- Always honest
Subscribe to never miss a post:
[EMAIL SIGNUP FORM]
Follow the daily observations:
- Instagram: @pippensandspicey
- Facebook: Pippens & Spicey
- TikTok: @pippensandspicey
ABOUT JERRY (The Human)
Professional Background:
- 23 years: Business liquidations
- 5 years: Estate sales (San Antonio focus)
- 300+ sales completed
- Specialties: Identifying value, business closures, family estate settlements
Personal Background:
- Lives in San Antonio, Texas
- Has lived with Pippens for 7 years
- Has lived with Spicey for less than 2 years
- Still doesn’t understand the bird debate
- Gradually learning that both pets are right about most things
ABOUT PIPPENS (The Cat)
Vital Statistics:
- Weight: 7 pounds
- Color: White
- Age: 7 years
- Personality: Sophisticated, judgmental, efficient
Survival Story: Nearly died at age 2. Jerry fought to save her. She survived. Now uses borrowed time wisely (napping, judging, occasionally sitting on Jerry’s keyboard during important work calls).
Philosophy: “Most human problems are self-inflicted. The solutions are obvious. You simply refuse to implement them.”
Stance on Birds: “Not interested. Spicey’s obsession is baffling.”
Favorite Activities:
- Strategic napping (18 hours/day)
- Judging human decisions
- Sitting on things Jerry needs
- Maintaining standards
ABOUT SPICEY PUMPKIN (The Dog)
Vital Statistics:
- Weight: 125 pounds
- Breed: Great Dane
- Age: about 1.5 years old
- Personality: Enthusiastic, optimistic, joyful
Survival Story: Only survivor of a litter of 10 puppies. Jerry’s from day one. Decided that surviving means celebrating everything, always, forever.
Philosophy: “Everything is AMAZING! Even things that aren’t amazing are PRETTY GOOD! Why aren’t you MORE EXCITED?!”
Stance on Birds: “VERY IMPORTANT! Different species! Different behaviors! Different BEAKS! How is everyone not FASCINATED?!”
Favorite Activities:
- Walks (all of them, always)
- Bird watching (serious scientific observation)
- Meeting new friends (every dog, every person)
- Celebrating literally everything
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
Q: Are Pippens and Spicey friends?
PIPPENS: We coexist. Spicey is exhausting. But tolerable.
SPICEY: Pippens is my BEST FRIEND! She doesn’t agree! But I love her anyway!
JERRY: They have a complicated relationship. Spicey adores Pippens. Pippens tolerates Spicey. It works.
Q: Do you really write from the pets’ perspectives?
JERRY: Yes. I observe what they’d say if they could. Pippens’ judgment is real. Spicey’s enthusiasm is real. I just translate.
PIPPENS: Jerry writes what I would say if I could be bothered to type. His interpretations are mostly accurate.
SPICEY: Jerry writes down my THOUGHTS! Which are mostly “EXCITING!” and “I LOVE THIS!” and “WHAT’S THAT?!”
Q: Is the estate sale content real?
JERRY: Every story is real. Names changed. Details accurate. The valuable painting in a box marked “junk” actually happened.
Q: Can I hire you for estate sales?
JERRY: I’m currently focused on the blog and building this audience. If you’re in San Antonio and have estate sale needs, [contact me here] and I’ll point you to trusted colleagues.
Q: When is the merchandise launching?
JERRY: 3-6 months. Pippens quotes on mugs. Spicey’s enthusiasm on t-shirts. Probably. If we can figure out Printify.
Q: Why should I subscribe?
PIPPENS: You shouldn’t. Unless you want honest observations about why your life is unnecessarily complicated.
SPICEY: You SHOULD! Because we’re FRIENDS now! Or we WILL BE! And friends share things! Like blog posts!
JERRY: Because twice a week, for 10-15 minutes, you’ll read something that’s hopefully funny, possibly useful, and definitely honest. That’s worth a few minutes, right?
WELCOME
That’s us. Three perspectives. Two species. One blog.
Thanks for being here.
— Pippens, Spicey & Jerry